Fluent Thoughts

Farmer 1: My dog is really brainy.
Farmer 2: How can you tell?
Farmer 1: Well, yesterday I asked him to subtract
ten from ten and he said nothing.  

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Bobby: Dad, I’m going to the
pet shop to buy some bird seed.
Dad: But, you haven’t got a bird Bobby.
Bobby: I know, so I’m going to grow one.

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“Waiter, Waiter, there’s a dead fly in my soup”

“Well, what do you expect in our prices, a live one?”
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Teacher: Beth, can you tell me the eight times table?
Beth: If you don’t know it, how should I?

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Jacob: I’m sure my teacher likes me, Dad.
Dad: What makes you think that?
Jacob: Look, she’s put kisses next to all my sums.

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A strict aunt came to tea and
said to her niece, “Eat you spinach, child,
and you’ll be beautiful”
“Didn’t they have spinach in your days Auntie?”