12 January 2005
How do I feel
Never been asked how do I feel when I stutter (psychologically & physically); Not from my parents, friends, and not even therapists (Speech & Psychological). Why?
Is it that they don’t care, or they think that they know (Don’t think so).
I wanted them to ask me so hard especially my parents, sometimes when I start talking about it (The stuttering not how I feel), they sweep there eyes from me. And tell me don’t worry dear we know many people that used to stutter but they don’t any more. I am not worried about it, I just want to express my feelings.
When I stutter all people just turn there faces or eyes to not see me stutter, although I tell them not, because if I lose the eye contact controlling it gets harder.
Well, How do I feel is non of any bodies business now, After all these years of stuttering if any body that I knew asked (( How do you feel when you stutter?)) I will simply answer ((None of your business))
Tuesday, 11 Jan 2005, 11:12 pm
UPDATE: Feel free to comment
January 12th, 2005 at 11:34 pm
Hi TF,
First off, I am writing an answer to your photography related question on my site, I’ve called the post (painting with light), I’ll post stuff there as often as I can & hope it will be of use.
The other issue is this post. Have you noticed dear that you started it by saying no one asks & then ended it with it is no ones business?
I am one of the people who, when talking to or going past someone with a physical or mental disability, try very hard not to look in their direction and I tell you why.
There is mathal yegool, ellie eedah fi elnar moo mithl elli eedah fi elmaay, or something like that.
I very, very strongly believe in that, no way on earth could someone who have not been there, would be able to feel the same way about problems in the same manner as someone who has, even if they have been there in the past, they tend to forget what it is like with time & cool off.
I have been fortunate with a healthy body & this is no doing of mine and there is no guarantee that I’ll stay this way until I depart, it is just how God brought me to this world, so I for one, could never know & feel what it is like to stutter, or be blind, or be mentally disabled or have cancer or be really financially desperate etc..
But one thing for sure, is that if I look in the direction of a person who happens to be less fortunate than me, I get this very nasty feeling of guilt for being luckier.
So looking away or behaving as there is nothing unusual, is my way of somehow trying to pass the feeling to that person that your disability is of no significance and is absolutely not an issue. You and I are both human beings of 100% equal value, and what really matters is honesty & good intentions towards each other, at least I think to myself that this is the message I manage to express anyway.
I have a strong feeling, in fact I am certain that your parents never ever mean to ignore you, that I have no doubt about, but I am very sure that they are trying to keep the issue “Fuss Free” so that not to hurt you or eventually somehow through their means and methods solve it.
True faith dear, we physically came to be, by developing inside mother & the feeling parents have for their kids is beyond any knowledge or explanation. & though they might do mistakes or don’t fulfill our expectations, believe me they are doing their best which qualifies them to have their feet & hands kissed daily not only with no shame on our side, but indeed with pride.
As for people you meet, well there is always the good & the bad, the considerate & the callous, and with them you of course take your pick.
Cheer up bud, and may I share this with you? Wallah Al3atheem, I relly mean this min kill galby wa 3asanee ma atem le bacher if I am bluffing, I find stuttering on females very sexy. Honest
Take care Bud & God bless
January 13th, 2005 at 6:58 pm
I totally agree with you Brachypelma; you said it all. and about stuttering being sexy on female, I swear that was xactly what I was thinking yesterday when I was reading ur blog TF, but unfortunately, we couldn’t comment yesterday.
I would also like to add that stuttering is not a disease; it’s a disorder, as I’m sure u are already aware of that. I don’t wanna talk like I know how u feel, but I think that the best way to address this issue is to write about ur true feelings. like u said, no one ever asked u how u felt about ur stuttering. that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care. maybe they are unsure of how to bring up the issue without hurting ur feelings. I think a lot of ppl here would like to know how it feels to stutter; I know I am. I am not saying this in a negative way; I am sure there is a positive side to it. it all depends on the way u perceive it. I mean, if u were to think of it as a handicap, which it most certainly isn’t, I’m not sure u could manage to come up with a positive side to it. however, if u try to be a little more optimistic about it, u will be surprised.
I’m not only saying this to make u feel better; I am very curious. I really hope u don’t reply with ‘its none of ur business’. and u know what, we all live once, and life is short, so try not to stress too much on the negative things in order to enjoy the positive aspects of life.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
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