10 September 2005
An empty island
I had an appointment on Thursday morning and while waiting (as always) I met an Asian lady who started talking about her life and I was listening to her carefully waiting for some useful words, until they came out of her mouth directly to my heart.
“I can’t change people but can avoid them”
When she ended that sentence; I was no more listening to her.
September 10th, 2005 at 12:35 pm
Hi
Ok, im relating the title with the post itself, so correct me i was wrong.
But what about people you dont wish to change or avoid? If you stay on an empty island you might be able to avoid all those annoyers, but what about those who you enjoy stayin with?
September 10th, 2005 at 12:44 pm
I don’t know :/
September 10th, 2005 at 1:56 pm
If she wants to avoid someone, she is free to do so.
I don’t see anything wrong with that.
However, It could be her loss.
September 10th, 2005 at 1:58 pm
Why not gain?
September 10th, 2005 at 2:11 pm
May be ignorance.
Hopefully, in the future, she thinks over that it’s also good enough to accept people than altogether avoid them.
September 10th, 2005 at 2:18 pm
It’s not them to be accepted it’s their acts towards her.
Avoiding them is easier and healthier.
It’s her way of living a better life I guess.
September 10th, 2005 at 2:44 pm
People are defined by their actions.
One will need to accept them to a certain degree as they accept their actions.
Avoidance is easy, but I don’t agree it to be healthy in the long run.
I also woudn’t call it a better life. I, for one, wouldn’t approve that for myself.
September 10th, 2005 at 3:44 pm
And what if she can’t stay around people any more? What if that would kill her emotionally? What is better for her then?
To accept their actions and die, or live in peace?
September 10th, 2005 at 4:04 pm
TF, Sweetheart
Nobody has to die here.
She has to learn to relax and take things easy. I also know it is easier said than done. There’s a different kind of fun in putting up a fight with whatsoever Life throws at you. People sometimes are in an underdog situation, unfortunately nothing much can be done about it.
She will be at peace only when she confronts her sorrows and that too head on; she has not to worry too much about the outcome of the fight; just keep carrying on. Yes that can be done. It takes a lot of patience and determination to succeed against odds. It would be so good if things come easy, right on the platter. But than she needs to ask her self, is this what she really wants?
I am damn sure in the end, she will be - No. Has to be - victorious.
That’s Faith.
Ahem! True-Faith.
September 10th, 2005 at 4:12 pm
I heard someone saying: “Man is no island”
In this case it’s a ‘She’. Okay, PJ.
What I know, it’s not easy for her to stay alone. Perhaps for a while, but not completely.
I also know, it wouldn’t be good for the few special people in her life to hear that.
September 10th, 2005 at 4:17 pm
if our salaf avoided others, islam would have not spread east and west
September 10th, 2005 at 4:23 pm
i totally agree with her.. why try to change people, when u know u can’t.. just avoid them.. if u can’t convince someone to do something that hurts or bothers u, just avoid him..
it’s like the arab proverb that rashed il majid made into a song
“ibid an il shar o0 qaneelo”
(stay away from trouble and i guess sing of it) -sounds weird
September 11th, 2005 at 12:31 am
What I understood from this sentence is that.. if you meet someone who is very different from you intellecually, socially, educationally.. then this person is bound to cause you trouble.. and since you cannot change how this person was raised which consequently reflects his/her morals, ethics and manners.. then in this case.. just avoid them. Ya3ne.. el bab elly eyeek mneh el ree7.. seddeh w esteree7.. instead of hurting that person and causing pain for you and him/her.. However, if this person is someone close, then you must do your best to advise and guide.. but if that person is stubborn and insisting on doing wrong.. then Allah will certainly do him good.
September 11th, 2005 at 2:54 am
Take the good, leave anything else. We share the world with people; we have to get on with it and look at what’s good and focus on it; No one is perfect, everyone has defects; so concentrate on the positives.
We don’t always get along with everybody in the workplace, but we have to get on with our jobs.
We can’t change anyone, unless they want to change themselves.