You’re wounded
You’re bleeding
You’re suffering and aching
Who cares?
Your wound is tended
You think you’re convalescing
And pain remaining is symptoms of recovering
It’s not
Those words of tender
“I feel you”
“Just tell me and I’ll help you go through”
“I care, I feel and will always be there for you”
Not true
It’s you that will always be there for you
Take care of you
I sat on the edge of his bed looking at him and contemplating his features. His eyes were gently closed; the blanket was covering his body, shoulders and chin. He was resting his cheek on his right hand.He woke up but still closing his eyes pretending to be a sleep; his eyes were tightened, his breathing wasn’t relaxed. I call his name and he smiles, opens his eyes and say “Good morning sweet sister”, “Good morning little dolphin” I say. He opens his arms for me; I bend forward for him to hug me.
He used to call me mama but started to call me by my name later on; while I am nineteen years older than him, I treat him as a son.
What mostly hurts is him telling me that I am not his mum. It makes me want to cry; how childish I am, I know. But I can’t handle that feeling in a wiser way.
Once my mum travelled to her family for a week; I was a student in University at that time, and he was 8 months old; so I had to be a full time mummy. I skipped all classes for the whole week and stayed at home taking care of him. It was my favourite week.
Since he was 4 he started to give me a greeting card that he did in every Valentines Day; this year at February 14 I went home after work expecting to find a card on my bed; but it was on my mother’s bed instead.
I ‘m not his mum, I’ve never been.
He hugs me tight, and says “Do you want a bigger hug” “No thank you; that was big enough” I say.
Sever (The northern colour) tagged me.
8 points of my perfect partner:
1. I
2. Want
3. Him
4. Exactly
5. Like
6. My
7. Dear
8. Father
I still struggle when I stammer
But do act as if I don’t
I pretend that I don’t care
And sometimes feel that I don’t
Is it true that I don’t?
Or is it not and I do?
This is a riddle that I don’t want to solve.
