Fluent Thoughts

“Fluent thoughts” is closed for forty days.

He is only 7 Y/O; he barely talks although he is very hyper. His mum complains a lot about his attitude and says that he is out of control and that no matter what punishment she does he gets even worse. A very angry child he is with a bad temper and if ever asked to say sorry or thank you he would stare at you with anger! He’s always angry!!!

Yesterday he was visiting my brothers it’s when I went to Boodi’s room where they were playing and tried to have a conversation with him but he simply ignored me. A while after Loosh asked me to come near the window to see my eyes in the light and compare between the colour of my eyes and Boodi’s. It’s when he came closer to us and started talking “Your eyes are B…..rrrrrown” I then asked him “and what is your eyes colour?”, he said “They are B……rown as well”. After that, we continued talking while he was blocking and losing breath. I felt like hugging him but didn’t because I was sure that it would embarrass him.

He is a severe stammer !

The love for tomorrow in me is fading and losing its glory, the goodness of it is wary and waiting for it is worthless. I’ll just leave it without expectations.

Apparently, some people think that I’m a fool (a nitwit might be a better word) and that my acts are predictable which makes them act in such a manner, to reach the point to their self satisfaction. But it wouldn’t be fair for them to not know the truth about my reactions, and why was it this that I used to do before, yet not this time.

Well it is something that I only can say as the following

كان من طيب خاطر و ما عاد الخاطر طيب

Yes I have an evil side in me that don’t forgive, and I do have another evil side that leaves others wondering “why?”, without displaying the reasons to them.

Why is that? Because it feeds my dignity!

Riding a camel in the desert of life alone no matter how many people are around. Long was the journey I’ve walked, that I no more can stand the backache.