Fluent Thoughts

As most of people with stammer do, I always work on my speech; the speech development is a non stop progress in my life; every time and a while I discover a new technique and stick to it until my brain gets the trick and refuses it.

One of the things that have always impressed me is reading the Qura’an; reading the Qura`an properly taking in consideration all of it’s TAJWEED signs (embellishment) is like using all of the techniques I have discovered and learned during my life; hence, I never stammer when reading the Qura’an loudly.

Related memory:

 Seven or eight years old I might have been when I first read Surah Taha; it is when I came across “قال رب اشرح لي صدري و يسر لي أمري و احلل عقدة من لساني يفقهوا قولي” (”(Moses) said:O my Lord! Expand me my breast; Ease my task for me; and remove the impediment from my speech, so they may understand what I say”). I got attached to it; and for some reason I thought it was meant for me; and that God have placed in the Quraan for me to encounter some day and take; I repeated it every day after every prayer and in every sajda (genuflection) and still do.

I remember during my teen years, I used to repeat it more frequently than I ever did; I remember weeping on my pillow and saying it again and again until I fall a sleep. Hard years they were.

Sinning is a crime on self, and being proud of it is a crime on society.

Life might not be fair; but God is.

صلاتي حياتي و سندي في مماتي

I don’t like the money giving concept in Eid; I never give money as Eid gift as I didn’t enjoy that when I was a kid when spending our Eid holidays in Kuwait, I have always favored the gifts. My little brothers do enjoy the gifts I give to them more than other people’s money gifts, because it is different and has been specially bought and rapped for them.

Eid is a gift from Allah to Muslims after the Holy month of blessings, forgiveness and disengage from hell. We should take this gift seriously and respect the true meanings of it, we should always put in our minds that God didn’t gift us this to lose what we gained in Ramadan, and we should use it to bonus our deeds and walk a farther step to heaven. Don’t replace your Ramadan deeds with Eid sins.

I will be traveling soon to spend my Eid holidays some where in this world. Enjoy your Eid and wish me the same.

عيدكم مبارك و عساكم من عواده

The thought of death is always in my mind. I always think of that moment when the angel of death will come to take my soul and leave my body to be graved in earth.

I think of that moment and will I be able to say :

or will it be heavy and my tongue won’t be able to say it. I think of how the angel of death will call my soul; will he say “come out, you evil soul” or will he say “come out, you good soul”. I think of my grave and its darkness, and the moment when they pour sand on me. I will never exist again in this world they will be no more me.

People might forget me; and some might pray for me; others might never mention me again.

After that I will go to where? Hell or Heaven. Hell, that will burn my body and will tear me into parts, pain will remain, might increase but will never reduce.

Or maybe Heaven, where I have never imagined, that will be something much better than my fiction books, fairy tale movies and something I have never seen even in my never land.